In the weeds

Sorry. Got too busy to tell you about yesterday's adventure at culinary school. But it went pretty great: Aced a quiz on the 12 steps of yeast dough production. Sailed through pretzel making (aren't those rolls cute?) and whipped up a lovely, sweet-smelling Portuguese Sweet Bread dough. (I am blessed with a great partner again, by the way. Sure, I may be old enough to be her mom but she's organized and sharp. And she has yet to refer to me as "old lady.")

Today? Well, let's just say today was not one of those days.

And I'm not quite sure why. (Could it be the obscene amount of bacon I ate at last night's Wandering Goat dinner put on by Top Chef winner Stephanie Izard? Yes, that's my excuse.)

The chef had us make a second batch of pretzel dough. But this time, ours turned out a little too stiff. And it started rising much faster than yesterday, throwing me totally off schedule. So, everything started to overproof a bit and I just couldn't get caught up.

We got our Portuguese Sweet Bread in the oven, but it overbaked a few minutes and came out a tad too brown. Still tasted great, though.

It was one of those days where I couldn't pull a sheet pan out of the oven without burning myself. Couldn't even tear a piece of plastic wrap off the roll without winding up with a crumpled mess.

And we somehow got so far behind we didn't get a chance to start in on the Durum Rosemary Rolls the chef assigned. I'm still not sure where the time went. Oh, yeah, I know. I was trying to make pretzels out of stiff, unforgiving dough. And unstick a wad of plastic wrap.

And did I mention the hazardous chemicals? The pretzels and pretzel rolls get a quick dip in lye solution before baking -- to help give them that rich mahogany color. Thankfully, though, my bad luck did not extend to this step and there was no HazMat incident. (Home cooks can add 1/4 cup of baking soda and two tablespoons of sugar to a pot of boiling water to dunk the pretzels. Or just follow this great Flour Girl pretzel bread recipe.)

Even on a bad day, though, this recipe turns out some beautiful, tasty, deep-brown pretzels and pretzel rolls. Be sure to top them right after they come out of their dip in the water bath. You can sprinkle them with salt, sesame seeds, nigella seeds, poppy seeds ... Or, maybe, bacon?

Maybe not.

Soft Pretzels

Servings: 28

Make 6 traditional folded pretzels and use the rest of the dough for 2-oz pretzel buns

From "Baking and Pastry, Mastering the Art and Craft"

88 ounces (5 ½ pounds) bread flour

43 grams instant dry yeast

44 fluid ounces water

4 ½ ounces butter, soft, cubed

2 fluid ounces malt syrup

50 grams salt

Lye solution

32 fluid ounces water, 105 degrees warm

35 grams sodium hydroxide (lye) pellets

Garnish

Pretzel salt, poppy seeds, sesame seeds, as needed

Combine flour and yeast.

Add the water, butter, malt syrup and salt to the mixer and then add the flour-yeast mixture. Mix on low speed with the dough hook for 2 minutes then on medium speed for an additional 8 minutes. The dough should be stiff with strong gluten development.

Bulk ferment the dough until nearly doubled, about 50 minutes.

Divide the dough into 5.5 ounce pieces. Preshape the dough into small oblongs. Let the dough rest, covered until relaxed, about 10 minutes.

Working sequentially, starting with the first piece of dough you divided and rounded. One at a time, stretch each piece of dough into a rectangle 10 inches long. Fold the top edge of the length of the dough to the center and press to seal the edge, the repeat to the bottom edge, forming a cylinder of dough. Using the heel of your hand, seal the edges together.

Turn the dough seam side down, using your palms, roll the dough until it is 30 inches long, with a thicker portion 4 inches long in the center. You may need to rest the dough if it is pulling back.

Cross the ends over each other, leaving 3 inches of dough on each side of the crossing point. The thicker center of the dough should be closest to you. Twist the ends together once. Bring ends of the dough over and attach them to either side of the dough to form a traditional pretzel shape. Press gently to seal.

Transfer to parchment-lined sheet pans you've sprayed with pan spray.

Proof, covered until the dough gives slightly when touched, 30 minutes.

Relax the dough under refrigeration, UNCOVERED, until it forms a skin, about 25 minutes.

Make 1 large batch of lye solution for the whole class to use, in a rondeaux. Combine the water and sodium hydroxide pellets, stirring until the pellets are completely dissolved. Wear protective gloves and goggles.

Remove pretzels from the cooler and allow to stand for 10 minutes. If you dip the pretzels when they are very cold, the temp will drop in the lye solution and the sodium hydroxide will be less likely to stay in solution.

Using tongs, dip the pretzels in the solution and then place on screens to drain. Immediately sprinkle the pretzels with pretzel salt, or other topping. Discard the lye solution by pouring it down the drain. It cannot be reused.

Make an incision in the thickest part of the pretzel 1/4-inch deep.

Place pretzels on parchment lined sheet pans that have peen sprayed with pan spray. Bake at 475 degrees with the vent open until deep golden brown, 12-15 minutes.

Yield 28 5-oz pretzels